Gyaan

You should be relieved that you feel sad about past, whether it's related to person or thing or feeling.

If you no longer feel the sadness,it means that you have finally moved on from the memory you were holding to. If it no longer bothers you, that's the moment you've to realized you are no longer the person you used to be.

You are a bit older and mature version of yourself.

Peeling Emotional

 I'm currently 23years and 9 months, rushing to my 24th year.

It is lonely but I got myself and it's fine.

I just realized that I shouldn't pray for time to move faster or to have a skip button in my life, I'm not going to be 23 years and 9 months tomorrow.

Today is the youngest that i ever can be and realizing it is honestly terrifying.

fleeting moments and gone time, even though they are sad and miserable I'm not going to get them back and this fact is stressing me a lot these days.

All the moments I have taken for granted, all the people I said goodbye without actually telling them goodbye because I didn't know that it was going to be my last time with them is just a heart wrenching feeling.

You just sit there, sipping your coffee or planning your day or doing something and suddenly remember all the people that you've met in your life, all the people you thought you're never going to loose but became distant for whatever reason and it's never going to be the same ever and you visit the moments together, plans you made with them in your little brain, you just blurt out a laugh with moist eyes and carryon your work.

Isn't it tiring?

That worst feeling of Nostalgia, the fear of loosing time and youth for what you don't know and for the things that you didn't plan for.

When I have this type of feeling, I just promise myself to not give-up on what I'm actually dreaming. It doesn't take away that feeling but i get to be in peace.

What do you guys do?

 

New things

now that i love you

i sometimes find myself portraying you in things.

i love that beat drop of the song, that you wait to hear in our special song everytime, you even stop singing.

i love that smell, which you mentioned when we went out last time to that same restaurant.

i love when some older women, looks at you and smiles. you make people smile, you idiot.

you're special, atleast for me.

I'm hopeless, atleast when it's you.

( Okay now, this is entirely based on a new series I started)

new year resolutions

I think making resolutions is not really worth the hype people give it.

You decide something for your life, you can start it anytime cause it's your time idiot.

Right now, I'm struck in deciding between believing in fate and making my fate 

Sometimes, somethings are so difficult but you want them to happen.

2021

Since nobodys reading it anyways,

I'll practice my writing skills and narration here.

Past year,

i lived good. I was happy, sad, miserable and was hungry.

I fought all my battles alone, i won many of them.

I'm proud of myself for that.

yeah, it was a bit lonely but i got through it just fine.I met many new people who became most important in my life. thank you guys, if i hadn't appreciated you enough, please bear me( you don't have any other option though 😂)

and all the people who stayed with me, you guys already know me, you don't have any other option too 😂😂

i cut few of the strings that's stopping me from becoming whom i wanted to be, to be honest it felt good.

I'm entering my new year with happiness and no regrets.

I wish i can be this happy the rest of the year.

To be honest, I stopped caring about what people think about, while I'm choosing something for myself.

People can be morons, I myself a moron too. 

So I feel less burdened,and thus it feels good 

Randomly typing stuff.

People just don't speak up random things

They sometimes burst out

They sometimes are mentally exhausted

They sometimes are really in the need of smashed the bottled up emotions insided

They sometimes are too tired to carryon their daily life

so when people randomly say something, 

 • Don't think they are complaining

 • Don't think they are just being silly

 • don't say that "everything is fine, it's just you think too much" or

 • don't say " it's just in your head"

 • in fact don't say anything at all.

 • no need to show sympathy or empathy or don't give random advices and solutions.

Listen. for Godsake please listen to them. let them complete their whole sentence before you comment. Don't cut them out, don't force them to shut up, don't make faces or expressions. please don't do anything

Just Listen.

that's all that is in need right now.

BE GRATEFUL

The incident I am going to share definitely did change me…it made me see things in a different way.

I read this article few years ago. The article is about a reporter and his experience in an orphanage.

Once a reporter went to cover an article about an orphanage, the things that happen in an orphanage, how people take care of those kids who had nobody else to take care, about their health etc etc.

The reporter after covering up all this was going towards the office where he finds an open door and there are hundreds of cradles in it, not empty cradles but there were babies in it.

The reporter being a new dad and being so used to his baby's tantrums and cries as a 5 month old got curious as to how the babies are so silent. He suddenly got suspicious that maybe the orphanage drugs the babies to keep them silent. He found a lady filling milk into the feeding bottles and so he spoke with her.
I tried to write it in the form of conversation here for giving out the proper essence of the whole point.

Reporter: Excuse me, sorry to disturb you but I am curious to know as to how the babies are so silent? Not one baby is crying. What do you mix in their milk?

Care taker: We don't mix anything sir. Actually when the babies come here at first they keep on crying continuously, there are only few of us and we cannot go and soothe every baby when they start crying, so what happens is the baby after crying continuously for hours realises itself that nobody will come to soothe it and so stops crying after a week. It is hard sir to see the babies crying but we are helpless. I feel so bad for the babies if only their parents knew about this, they wouldn't have orphaned them.

Tears started flowing. He went home and hugged his baby tight. He realised how his heart would bleed if he finds his baby crying and there at the orphanage the kids don't cry because they had no one to pet them, pamper them and soothe them. Neither did they have anyone to rock them to sleep by singing a lullaby.

When I read this article, I couldn't eat or sleep for days. I decided then and there that if at all I will have kids sometime in my life I am going to love them so much that they shouldn't feel that they are left out in this world.
Maybe the babies realise this and kill that part of themselves and learn to survive without their parents…..as orphans!

Isn't this how the personality of a person shapes?

Just imagining about those poor souls and their plight or to better say their understanding in that teeny age about the fact that there is no use of crying as there would be no one to feel bad for them…ufffff…that is something.. I can't digest the fact even now

(Not everyone purposefully abandon their babies, I know that..but if possible one can try to prevent it. Hats off to all the orphanages around the world to give out their selfless service and time to take care of them….it is because of people like you all that there is still humanity here and there).

Hogwarts is my home

Well

I just always love the relation harry and Sirius had.

It is more like a guardian and less than a father.

Sirius never ever forget his old friend James potter and their relation with James and lily ( Harry’s parents). Well in the order of phoenix  i.e.,  5^th part

Their conversation goes on this way and this made a huge impact on harry for his final defeat with the horcrux that is within him.

Sirius: (after telling harry that his mother burnt his face on his family tree that is on the wall of their inherited house ) MY MOTHER DID IT AFTER I RAN AWAY!! Charming woman 😉. I was sixteen

Harry: where did you go?

Sirius: round your dad’s . I was always welcome at the potters’. I see him so much I you harry, you are so very much alike( this tells us how much Sirius loved James and how much he cared about their child)

Harry: I’m not so sure. Sirius, when I saw mr.weasley attacked , I wasn’t just watching, I WAS THE SNAKE and after ward’s in Dumbledore’s office there was a moment when I wanted to……

This connection between me and Voldemort what if the reason it is I am becoming more like him?

I just feel so angry at that time and what if, after everything I’ve been through something’s gone wrong inside me? What if I’m becoming bad?

( here harry doesn’t have anyone to speak about his problems so CLOSELY , though Dumbledore is close enough but he can’t tell Dumbledore all his behavioral changes after all Dumbledore is headmaster for HOGWARTS , so he shares his problem to Sirius whom he consider as father)

Sirius: I want you to listen to me very carefully, harry

You are not a bad person, you are a good person who bad things have happened to.

You understand?

(well now, harry gives a look. That has some trust, some affection ,some love- a parental love, which he has been missing from years since his birth) and he continues

Besides the world isn’t split into good people and death eaters. We’ve got both dark and light inside us

What matters is the part we choose to act on

That’s who you really are.!

HEART VS BRAIN 2

Okay !!!!

Let’s listen to the heart. But the most common nature of heart is “it’s always beyond COMMON SENSE”

It easily catches feelings. It is easily diverted

Ignoring all these we still tend to listen to heart. Then there comes a situation. Because of all those diversions this stupid heart bumps its head and then it is BROKE

What must be next step??!!!!

Simple let’s go with our BRAIN( not because we don’t have any other options)

Our brain has INTELLECT state. When there is a typical situation and heart is not in its state, surviving is the primary thing.

We can cry later but surviving is first important thing than mourning.

To survive and to be bold enough to struggle BRAIN helps a lot.

The relation of heart and brain is something like TOM AND JERRY

Though they fight all the time, one always need the others support  just like HEART and BRAIN

Brain :

Gives us confidence to survive and gives heart its time to heal and function normally

Brain has all the reinforces that heart require and it helps to guide us to our DESTINATION

caution: sensitive matter a head

I just want to write about SUICIDE

All of a sudden

I don’t know why

But I feel like writing

Story-1

His name is quite famous in office. He is the best party buddy for everyone. He is the “party dude!” type. He Is the playboy type to see. He earns 75k per month. He doesn’t have any responsibilities. He threw a party grand one on Saturday night. Every one attended it. He was very happy or at least everyone thinks he is.

Every one left at early morning of Sunday.

On Monday everyone came except him. Everyone thought the reason was hangover

On Tuesday morning they found him DEAD in his apartment

Story-2

She was not a topper but an average student. Her father had many dreams on her. She has another dream which doesn’t sync with any of her father dreams. Yet she followed what her father said EVERYTIME.

Her mother has no voice in house. She secured a good rank and settled in very good place. One night she came back to her hostel. She was very happy and everyone can notice it on her face. Her roommate enquired about it and she said “nothing much dude”. Next day her roommate left early and when she came back at late in the evening she found her lying there DEAD

Story-3

He is a well-known artist, a singer and a good dancer

He left his heart with a girl who can never be his own.

He became a drug addict and spoiled his career. He lost all his true buddies for his habits. He lived in that way for two years. He finally realized all his mistakes but very late in that. He visited all his friends and places and promised them that he will start his new life and asked them to get back. Everyone was very happy for him. He then went to see London. He posted everything. And then he went to some tall building and jumped from it

He is DEAD.

There are many more stories like this

 Do You know the main reason for their death!??

Because they just want someone to LISTEN

HELL YEAH!!! There should be someone to listen for everyone.

Everyone need someone as a home, as a leaning shoulder, as a therapy.

Everyone has their own story, their own script, their own fucked up lives.

Not everyone needs helps and solutions for their problems

They just need ears to listen

Eyes to treat them as humans, and lips to smile for them

Yes! Everyone needs a fellow being.

That man died because he has no one to care for and no one to care upon. Such lives are not really happy because we need a heart for sure (story-1)

That girl died because no one ever heard her pain, her anguish, she smiled the day before her death because she finally made a decision in her life without anyone’s permission. She died because her wings are stapled for society’s sake. She died because her dad wanted a son not a mere girl who wants to fly. She died because she not really happy for any of her success

All she ever wanted is to see the world as she wished. They killed her.( story-2)

   

  And at last our dude!! he died because he went into deep depression he fought very hardly, badly with that depression WITHOUT ANYONE’S HELP.

But that damn nasty thing is far stronger than a single man’s will power.

He fought with it every single minute after his realization.

But if someone was present in his side he surely would have defeated it.

But everything got too late for him

Everyone around us will surely have a very bad side of life

They hide it with a smile

We can’t help them out of it, but surely, we can help them fight with it with little things

Remember SMALL THINGS ALWAYS MATTERS.

ALWAYS!!!!!

Every last good night matters

First good morning matters

Small appreciation matters

Little smile matters

Be kind to people

NOT EVERYONE.